Be Fearless.

I know it’s crazy…

First off, I’m sorry that this post is going to be completely vague, but it’s just kind of something that I need to get off my chest and out of my brain.

People are so fucking negative…why? I mean, just because something didn’t necessarily work out in your life doesn’t mean that you need to go all Negative Nancy on everyone else in that position, you know?

I’ve been discouraged from mostly everything my entire life, and I’ve kind of decided that it maybe stopped me before, but I’m not going to let anyone or anything stop me now. I’m not going to apologize for expressing how I truly feel.

I know I’m seventeen. I know it’s crazy to even think about anything of the sorts at this age…but I just have this feeling. This gut-wrenching, undeniable feeling that I can’t fight. I can’t ignore it. Just the thought about going on without certain things, doesn’t make sense in my mind, and I can’t wrap my mind around it.

With that said, I can’t even wrap my mind around my crazy ideas. Things just come out of my mouth now, without any previous thoughts or concerns, I just say things. I feel like I should be embarrassed and apologize, but I can’t apologize for saying what I feel is the God honest truth for myself.

I know everyone has their own opinions, but I hate discouragement from other people. It kind of kills me in a way. I’ve been in a rather shitty mood today because of discouragement and before I was second guessing a lot of things, but how can I let one person’s ideas effect me? The answer is I can’t. I just have to figure out what’s good for me I guess.

Like I said, this post was kind of for my own sanity, and something I just needed to clear out of my head.

Like I said, I know I’m seventeen, and I know it’s crazy, but it’s just that feeling…

Inspired

I’m absolutely inspired. Today at my family’s Easter dinner, we uncovered a lot about my family. Things I’ve never known before. For example, my great grandmother’s brother is linked to the mafia…I don’t really know how I feel about that.

But I also learned that I’m supposed to have another brother or sister. We were talking about how there are four and a half years between my brother Gregory and I. And my mom started talking about how there was another sibling that my parents were going to have before me. But my older brother or sister was born far too early, and was born dead. So then my parents had me.

It feels weird that I’m 17 and I just found out about this sibling. My brother Greg had no idea about it either and he’s 21. I’m not even sure if Stephen knew about it or not. But this kind of inspired me. When things are getting rough, I have to think about my older brother or sister that didn’t get a chance to experience life. The things they didn’t get to do. The breaths they didn’t get to take. I want to live my life for that older brother or sister that I was supposed to have. When things get rough, I just have to remember that I’m lucky that I’m even here.

Prom day?

It seems weird to me, I’m not really excited to go to prom at this moment in time. There was a time when prom seemed so far away, and I was beyond excited. But now as prom has gotten closer and EVERYONE is stressed out about it, I’m not super excited. Granted give me a couple hours and I’ll be like AHHHHH PROMMMM. But right now, I’m super mellow. I’m drinking my hot chocolate and just rolling with the punches. And I’m perfectly content with that. However, prom will be awesome. Every girl waits for her first prom forever, and it will be amazing. Fast forward a couple hours and I’m going to be off the walls.

Prom…

Prom is in less than a week. How did it come so fast? How did I become a junior? How am I going to be a senior in September? WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?! I was in kindergarden like yesterday…

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

SEUSSSSSSS! :D<3

Seussical came out AWESOME tonight. I’m so proud of everyone and I’m so happy to be back onstage. This has been a long process for me to get back into theatre after being gone for two years, but I’m so glad to be back. If you have time, come see Seussical.

Tech Week…

Here goes the most stressful week of my life. This is more stressful than any other tech week I’ve ever been in. This is my first high school production, and I’ve been out of theatre for so long, I’m so stressed and nervous. Luckily for me, stress goes straight to my back and shoulders… -_________________-

Tech week…come at me!

I’m trying to jam…

And my iPod decides to play all of the slow, sad songs…how dare it. And of course when I’m sad it plays all my pump up jam songs -__________-

typical electronics.